Koshermania

So, my little sister has so much extra time on her hands as of late, she has been spending a great deal of time watching daytime TV. I'm not a big TV watcher and had she not called me about this, I would have had no idea.

Apparently the wrestler Hulk Hogan has a television show called Hogan Knows Best. My little sister explained that in the latest episode it seems that he has moved to Miami to an area where many of his neighbors are Orthodox. (I wonder where that is?) Trying to be friendly, his wife made some cookies to bring to the neighbors and this is when they find out that no one will accept them because they are not KOSHER! They want to have a BBQ for the neighbors so they set out on a quest for kosher foods. They end up at Kosher World where Hulk gets a Kosher 101 lesson. He then says he feels like eating kosher meats is healthier and therefore he should always only eat kosher meats.

Who would have ever thought? Hulk Hogan a new spokesperson for the Kosher Meat industry? Stranger things have happened.

Sing it LOUD

LO was in rare form at shul on Friday. She was singing LOUDER than usual (which I still find hard to believe). I guess I am numb to it because I didn't notice it until I realized that almost the entire congregation was looking at us.

After services, many people told her how lovely her singing is. Due to this encouragement, I shudder to think of how LOUD she will be next Shabbat.

Here for your listening pleasure...LO's version of the Shema:

shema.mp3

Hosted by eSnips

Stay tuned...who knows what I can get her to sing next!

My Grandmother has a BOYFRIEND

No this isn't me in my Halloween costume...

This is my Grandmother. Way back when she came to the United States from China she apparently "fudged" her birth year and so no one knows exactly how old she is but we all guess that she is probably pretty close to 90 years old. She has always been known to be quite the character and she is actually the original "Orieyenta" (bet you don't find that hard to believe after seeing her picture!)

My sister just called me as she was leaving Grandma's house. Apparently Grandma is dating and she has a new boyfriend. Apparently he and Grandma have kissed. Apparently she felt the need to share this information in full detail with my sister (thank G-d it wasn't me!)

You GO Grandma!

(This gives me hope. Perhaps I don't need to take that trip to daven at the kever of Rabbi Yonatan ben Uziel quite yet!)

I think it may SNOW!

Ok, I know all of you who live in places like Milwaukee and Toronto are going to laugh but BRRRR! it is cold here today!

This morning when we got up I told LO that it was going to be cooler than usual and that she should dress accordingly. Since it's usually in the 80's or 90's here year round, I wasn't quite sure she understood. So - I told her to go outside to see how cold it was. She opened the front door and in less than a second was back inside shivering. She exclaimed, "It's so cold, I think it may SNOW!"

It may sound crazy but as I walked into work this morning, I certainly noticed that I wasn't the only one wearing a coat.

Traveling and Books

So - I've been traveling again and I have to say that I have no clue how those of you who have to travel often do it. Now that I am home, I feel like I am behind in EVERYTHING and will never catch up. (BTW, I figured out a solution to the Star of David terror threat but I will save that for another post.)

However, it does seem as though there has been a benefit to all this traveling for me. I've been able to read several books - a treat I rarely have time for.

A friend who is in a book club recommended "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak ages ago but I simply didn't have the time to pick it up. On my first plane ride I had a stack of magazines with me that had piled up at home. One of them was the latest "Hadassah" and I noticed "The Book Thief" on their list as well. So, I decided that when I arrived at my destination I would pick it up.

I don't want to ruin it for anyone who has not read it but I have to admit that once I picked it up, I found it very hard to put down. I found that the choice of Death as the narrator gave such an ingenius point of view and I didn't feel like it was a morbid choice.

The Flag of Spain

LO is doing a project for school on Spain for Hispanic Heritage Week. I printed out the flag of Spain for her to include with her report.

I'm out of town but have been trying to help her with the project over the phone. During our last phone call she asked, "Mama, what is that on the flag?" I told her that I was not sure what it was (since I didn't actually have a picture of the flag in front of me!) Her reply was, "It looks like the Torah".

While trying to stifle my giggles I explained that I was pretty sure that it was not the Torah. That's my Little Orieyenta for you - in her mind she sees a little Judaism in everyone and everything. Gotta love it.

Are we a trend?

Was anyone else surprised last week when they watched the season premiere of "Grey's Anatomy"? Did you know that Sandra Oh's character Christina Yang is Jewish?

Maybe LO and I have started a new trend.

Current Events

Each week LO is assigned a current event. She has to read a newspaper article and then stand up in front of her class and tell them about it.

Her topic this week was about Karnit Goldwasser visting the Greater Miami Jewish Federation. Mrs. Goldwasser will be making five stops while she is in the United States in hopes of ensuring that the world does not forget about her husband and the other captured soldiers, Eldad Regev and Gilad Shalit. You can read more about them at their website.

May we all continue to recite Tehillim and pray for Ehud ben Malka (אהוד בן מלכה), Eldad ben Tova (אלדד בן טובה), and Gilad ben Aviva (גלעד בן אביבה) until they are safe at home.

Do not let them be forgotten.

Apples and Honey

We've got a busy week ahead of us, so I thought I would post this a few days early just in case I don't have a chance later on this week.

Every year I try to send a picture of LO with our Rosh Hashanah cards and this is the one I sent this year. Isn't she just as sweet as apples and honey?

Wishing you and your families L'Shanah Tovah. May we all be inscribed for a Happy and Healthy New Year.

Eggs?

Isn't this the cutest thing? Some friends in Sunday school gave this set to LO for her birthday. We have played quite a bit with it and she has been thrilled with her little matzoh balls and the kugels. At first we were a little confused about the eggs because who would put eggs on lettuce? Wait a second, those are gefilte fish!

Ok, so who's coming over for Shabbos? LO is cooking.

Star of David = Terror Threat?

As of late, I've had to do a great deal of airplane travel. Generally I don't really like to travel and so I try to keep the number of trips that I take down to a minimum and when I do travel I generally don't stay more than a few days.

However, my last trip had me away from home over Shabbos, so I packed some candleholders for my trip. I didn't feel quite right about putting them in my checked luggage so I wrapped them carefully and put them in my backpack which I planned to carry on the plane.

With the new security measures at airports in place, before heading to the airport, I made sure that I had no type of liquid or gel in my backpack (frowning as I placed my anti-bacterial hand sanitizer into my checked-baggage). And off to the airport I went.

Before I go any further let me say that I totally realize that the TSA screeners at the airports are only doing their job which is basically to make airline travel safe. I am not one of those people standing in line complaining about the whole security procedure because I say if it takes 2 hours to get through and it means I am safe then take the 2 hours - I say take as much time as you need as long as I am safe!

So - I get in line and present my ID and boarding pass. Next I proceeded with the whole drill - take the laptop out of its case, take your shoes off, lay your backpack down flat on the belt, make sure you don't have any metal in your pockets, etc. Then I walked through the metal detector (trying to ignore the fact that I was walking barefoot where who knows how many people have walked barefoot before me) to the end of the conveyor belt to collect my belongings. And I look at the screener who is examining the x-ray of my backpack and he is repeatedly running my backpack out and back into the machine - glaring at me every now and then as the backpack goes in and out of the machine. He turns to the guy behind him and asks him to look at the screen and I hear the other guy saying, "That's the Star of David - those are candleholders." So, now I am expecting that he will just let my bag go and I can be on my way. But oh no that's not going to happen...next I hear, "Bag Check!"

So next I am escorted to another table (still barefoot) while trying to manage the laptop still out of it's case, the laptop case, my shoes, and my sweater (did I mention I was still barefoot?) - just totally vesheveled. And I got to watch as the TSA guy took every little thing out of my bag and pick and chose what he was really going to inspect. My candleholders were wrapped in a towel and placed inside a plastic bag - he never opened the plastic bag. He did open a medication bottle and looked inside. He paid no mind to my Machzor, my eyeglasses in an eyeglass case, my iPod in a zippered up case, nor the plastic bag containing my headcoverings. Eventually he was satisfied and I was left standing there trying to manage everything nice and neatly back into place as they had been originally. I do find all of this curious but still respect that this is all happening in order to keep air travel safe.

Fast forward a week and a half for my trip home and I find the same thing happening again. Only this time, I hear the woman at the x-ray machine saying, "Six pointed star! Bag check!" And I end up going through the whole routine again. The screener had just about finished and was stuffing things back into my bag but then he took out a tube of lipgloss (that apparently made it through the screener on my trip out there) and said, "You can't have this - it's gel based. But let's say that you put some on and let me see what flavour it is." (Oh yeah - that's appropriate you jerk. ) Rather than freak out I just replied, "I'm sorry - I had no idea it was there - just throw it out." And on my merry way I went.

I'm not bitter (really!) but can someone please tell me why the Star of David equals a terror threat and an automatic bag search?

Happy Birthday Little Girl!

Saturday was LO's 8th Birthday. For the past few years I have given her the choice to either have a party at home or to take a birthday trip to Disney World. Guess where she chose this year?

She is finally tall enough to ride all the rides she wants to ride. That of course means that I have to ride them with her and let's just say that there were plenty of times that I wished that she was still too small to ride them!

Despite some rain throughout the trip, she had a blast. I love being able to take time out of our "real" life to spend this time with her. As I am sure any parent knows, it is so much fun to see our children grow and change over time (even if it seems to be happening at the speed of light sometimes!)

Her birthdays are always a little bittersweet for me. I am filled with joy that G-d brought this little girl to me but I am also saddened that her birthmother will never know this incredible little girl. I can only hope that wherever and whoever she is that somehow she knows that her child is well-loved and taken care of and that I am so thankful to her for this little girl.

The "Hornet"

This morning while I was driving LO to school from out of the back seat I hear a noise that sounds a whole lot like an elephant blowing his nose. Here's the conversation that followed:

Me: What the heck was that?

LO: I'm practicing blowing the hornet.

Me: The what?

LO: You know, the HORNET. My teacher was showing us how to blow it at Sunday school.

Me: Oh...are you talking about the shofar?

LO: (very matter-of-factly) Of course I'm talking about the shofar Mama. I don't like hornets - they sting.

Back to School

School started on Monday. It seems to me that our summer vacations are shorter and shorter each year as school starts earlier and earlier.

As you can see, LO wasn't at all upset about starting school so early since it meant that she would get to see her best friend every day. They've been best friends since they were two - that's SIX years!

And so it begins...(amid some of the scariest gas prices ever) another season of "Mom's Taxi Service". Sunday school starts this Sunday. Hebrew School starts on Tuesday. Kid's Club starts on Wednesday. Oh, the joys of parenting!

Happy Birthday JJ

My niece (who I'll refer to as JJ here) turned 2 today.

I called her this morning to sing Happy Birthday to her. Since my sister and I love to hear her "JJ talk" we are always asking her to say things. Today was no exception. (Some of my favourites are "ah-gai-er" for alligator, "dabba doo" for her dog Scooby"and "mel-mo" for Elmo.)

Here's a run-down of our phone conversation:

JJ: Hi Ai Yee (Ai Yee is Chinese for mother's older sister/aunt)

Me: Happy Birthday!

I then started to sing Happy Birthday but JJ paid no attention and just kept saying LO's name over and over. So instead of singing the rest of the song, I resorted to seeing if I could get her to say something funny.

Me: Say happy birthday

She continued saying LO's name

Me: Say alligator

LO's name again

Me: How old are you today?

LO's name again

Me: Say I'm two today

LO's name AGAIN

Me: Say LO's name

JJ: Bye-bye

Oh boy - another comedian in the family.

This might make you cry

In light of the events today, I thought we could all use a little break from the constant war coverage...

Here for your listening pleasure...LO's version of Hinay Ma Tov. (Thanks for the suggestion SG!)

hinay.mp3

Hosted by eSnips

Our Rabbi told her that her singing almost made him cry. That's a good thing, right?

Shavua Tov everyone v' Shalom al Yisrael.

The Missing Wallet

My little sister called me this morning. The first words I heard after I said hello were, "I am FREAKING OUT!" She went on to explain that she couldn't find her wallet and that there was several hundred dollars in cash in it.

I wanted to say, "Hey - don't you know where the bank is?" But instead I tried to be the supportive sister and help her figure out where it might be. I asked her where she remembered using it last. She said it was yesterday when she brought my niece to the park for a pony ride. After the pony ride they went to our mom's house and then they went home. She had searched her home, her car, and our mother's house. No sign of it. She had even called the park to see if someone had turned it in. (With all that money in it, I was skeptical that anyone would be honest enough to turn it in. ) But no one had turned it in.

Frantic with her mind filled with thoughts of all the delightful things her credit cards must be buying for someone at the moment, she headed off to work.

I just got another phone call from her. She has her wallet back. When I asked where she found it, she explained that it was at the park and someone had turned it in. I figured ths meant, the money was gone. She went on to say,"I really think your people found it and turned it in." A little confused by this comment, I said "What?" She said, "Remember how I told you that when we go to the park there are all these families there with the long skirts and yarmulkes? They must have found it and turned it in." Oh that must be it...the honest "frummies". I guess that's a stereotype we can all live with for once.

Collateral Damage

As I am sure many (if not all) Rabbis did this Shabbat, ours spoke of what is happening in our beloved Israel. I have not really spoken with LO about this because I have not really been sure how to explain the notion of war to her. Our Rabbi spoke of the "collateral damage" caused by war. He spoke particularly about the children in the Middle East. This certainly struck a chord with LO. After services, I realized that I would have to find some way to explain what is happening to her.

Tears welled up in her eyes as I told her. She asked why we couldn't just tell the "bad guys" to give our soldiers back. In her mind it must be much like child's play...a child takes someone else's toy, a parent makes him/her return the toy, and all is well. If only it were that simple. In her mind, the "bad guys" should just be punished for not listening. In a way that is exactly what is happening...but how do you explain "collateral damage" to a child?

LO spent some time at my ex's house yesterday...apparently she watched the news while she was there. When she got home last night, she told me that she saw Israel on TV and that it was very bad over there. In her eyes I could see her compassionate neshama searching for something, anything, she could do or say...

All I could do was to tell her that the best thing we can do for our soldiers and our beloved Israel at this time is to pray.

He Who blessed our forefathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob -- may He bless the fighters of the Israel Defense Forces, who stand guard over our land and the cities of our G-d, from the border of the Lebanon to the desert of Egypt, and from the Great Sea unto the approach of the Aravah, on the land, in the air, and on the sea.

May the Almighty cause the enemies who rise up against us to be struck down before them. May the Holy One, Blessed is He, preserve and rescue our fighters from every trouble and distress and from every plague and illness, and may He send blessing and success in their every endeavor.

May He lead our enemies under our soldiers' sway and may He grant them salvation and crown them with victory. And may there be fulfilled for them the verse: For it is the Lord your G-d, Who goes with you to battle your enemies for you to save you.

Amen.

I knew it was only time

Other than the words happy and talkative, one of the other most often heard adjectives used to describe LO is LOUD.

There are plenty of times in which I find that although she and I are in the same room, based on her volume she might be thinking I am a few blocks away. Sometimes I will jokingly shout back to her, "WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME? I'M IN THE SAME ROOM AS YOU!" And then we both burst into laughter.

No place is immune from her lack of volume control and certainly not our shul. I usually try to sit towards the back since LO sometimes gets a little fidgety and I don’t like to disturb everyone else. This has worked well for us except for the fact that some poor unsuspecting person somehow manages to sit in front of us every time. And let’s just say…they never sit in front of us again. You see, LO simply LOVES to sing at shul – and it doesn’t matter if she knows the words (because her new thing is singing without even glancing at the siddur!) And geez can this kid sing LOUD! Yes – I am filled with joy that my daughter loves our traditions and is so proud of her Judaism. But I also fear that it is only time until someone says something like, “Do you think you could ask your daughter to sing a little quieter?”

Well much to my surprise, I have gotten a request regarding her singing – it just wasn’t the request that I expected. Our shul is having a multi-cultural service and LO has been asked to sing Hinay Ma Tov. Whenever she is around people she knows, she is “Personality Plus” – but in the past whenever she had to get up in front of strangers, she has been terrified. Because of this, I knew I should ask her before committing. I picked her up at camp yesterday and asked her. She said, “Sure! I’ll do it. Wait? In front of people?” I was sure the “No way!” was coming next. But then she said, “Yeah – ok – I’ll sing it for everyone.” Later on I heard singing coming from the bathroom – she had just taken a shower and she was brushing her hair and singing LOUDLY (obviously practicing for her big night at shul) while watching herself in the mirror.

Uh oh…what have I gotten myself into?

Red Blankie and the Shema

Every summer, LO spends some time visiting with my sister. This gives me a chance to have a little "me" time here and there throughout the summer. I'd like to report that I actually do something wonderful like spending the day at a spa or sitting on the beach and enjoying our weather but...what it usually means is that I do various things like clean the house, have a week go by without needing to do twelve loads of laundry, stare at the walls, give the TV a break from Disney films, etc.

LO never goes anywhere far without her blankies. These started out as one security blanket. But, as every parent is well aware, beloved items like these tend to get "loved" a whole lot and tend to need to be cleaned a whole lot, so in order to be able to wash "White Blankie", I made "Red Blankie". When we were packing her stuff to go to my sister's, she said, "I'm taking White Blankie with me and I'm leaving Red Blankie with you so you don't feel lonely without me". How cute is that?

I dropped her off at my sister's last night and the drive home (approx. 60 miles) was awfully quiet. Then when I got home, since this is her first extended time away this summer, the house seemed eerily empty. I sat down on the bed and realized how much I missed my little girl. Then the phone rang! Of course it was her. She had called to tell me that she missed me (which of course broke my heart). She had called to say "Laila Tov" and "Jo Tau" (Goodnight in Hebrew and Chinese). And she had called to say the Shema with me (which filled my heart with joy).

Some days I just can't imagine that it is possible to love her any more than I already do, but then a day like this happens. And I realize just how blessed I am to be LO's Mom.