Christmas Decorations

PHD's mom lives in an independent living facility. They just finished decorating the facility for the holidays. We walked in to visit her and were immediately looking at an enormous Christmas tree with these golden reindeer on the side. LO ran over to them, turned around to look at me and wide-eyed she said, "Oh my gosh - not only do they have a Christmas tree but they are worshipping the golden calves too!" Oy - only my kid could have come up with that.

You eat shrimp?

We were visiting PHD's 93-year old mother at the independent living facility where she lives. We happened to see a friend of ours there who's mother also lives there. (This friend also happens to be a Reform Rabbi.) They were sitting in the dining room and motioned for us to come and sit with them while they waited for their food. We sat, talked about the wedding, talked about LO starting school, etc.

Then the food came.

The server placed a plate of chicken and shrimp in front of our friend.

Before the plate was completely on the table, LO exclaimed, "Rabbi, how could you? How can you be a Rabbi and eat SHRIMP? Oh my gosh - you are going to have to fast for a lot of days for Yom Kippur...." This went on and on until I literally had to tell her to stop talking.

Oh yeah, that is my little kosher police. Gotta love that.

(But I guess that now might be a good time to explain the differences in observance level for Reform Jews and the more observant ones.)

The Tooth Fairy doesn't work on Shabbos

When I picked LO up from school on Friday she eagerly showed me that she had lost a tooth. She was very excited because as I've reported before, the tooth fairy at our house pays BIG. However, with Shabbos here, there was no further mention of it and it totally slipped my mind.

On Shabbos morning when I went downstairs LO (with the saddest face in the world) said, "The tooth fairy didn't take my tooth." Having not had an ounce of coffee yet, I gave her all sorts of lame excuses, none that she seemed to buy, but she eventually just went back to her room. A little while later she came out and said, "I know why the tooth fairy didn't take my tooth! The tooth fairy doesn't work on Shabbos!" Geez...why didn't I think of that excuse?

Chocolate Ice Cream

I had insomnia the other night so I went as downstairs. Of course I had to go in and check on LO because she is so darn adorable when she is sleeping. (Oh, alright, she is pretty darn adorable when she is awake too.) I kissed her on the forehead and started to leave her room. Just as I reached the door she started talking...

"Yes - I'll have some chocolate ice cream and cookies. Oh and I'll have manicotti too."

Yep - talking in her sleep....about food. That's my kid. (Guess she was having milchig!)

Moses and the Golden Rat

This is a LO masterpiece that she brought home from Hebrew school this week. I didn't see it until this morning and I certainly understood what she drew but I asked her to explain the picture. (I wish I had taken a better picture of it - sorry!)

Apparently this is LO's artistic interpretation of the Moses finding the people worshipping the golden calf. What you can't see very well is that Moses has a very angry face and the broken tablets are on the ground next to him. I giggled and told her I didn't know that there was a golden rat (hey - doesn't it look like a rat?) She said someone told her to draw udders on it but she thought that was gross. I looked at the worshippers and noted that it is a woman and a little girl. I asked, "Oh my, is that supposed to be us worshipping the golden calf?" Her response, "No way - they have round eyes." Oy...not nice.

What not to wear

This is what happens when a Floridian tries to dress for cold weather. (Yes - it was in the 60's this morning and we were FREEZING.)

This is also what happens when LO picks out her own clothes. What you can't see in the picture is that her sneakers have PINK trim on them.

When I came downstairs and saw her I tried not to giggle but the look on my face must have told all and she knew that there was a possibility that she just might not match so well, so she said, "Do I look meshugge? I have another plaid skirt I could wear instead."

Um...I don't think another plaid skirt would fix it sweetie.

(I should probably add that when I asked her to let me take this picture she said, "No! You're going to show it to all your friends." Boy, does this kid know me or what?)

LO has a boyfriend

So I was cleaning up in LO's room the other day and on her desk I saw a piece of paper with a heart drawn on it. Inside of the heart was her name + the name of a little boy from our shul.

(I was a little surprised since she is and will always be my baby but she's NINE! Isn't this too young to be having the whole "puppy love" thing going on?)

I thought a little more about it and then I realized that after Shabbat services, she always runs off into the social hall and I always see her with him. (YIKES!) So I decided to say something to her. Her response? "Well, you want me to be with someone who is Jewish." How on earth could I argue with that?

A gift for Abba

On the afternoon just before the first candle of Chanukah, I walked into LO's classroom to pick her up from school. She was so excited that she could barely contain herself... "Ima, I got a present for Abba!" She ran over to the corner and she presented me with a large Ziploc bag. Inside of the bag was a very large avocado. I asked her where she got it and she explained that she had bought it in the Panther Store with her Panther dollars.

Panther dollars are a reward for the kids when they do something good like help a teacher, behave nicely, help a classmate with their homework, etc. They are given out just about every day and the kids are allowed to take the dollars they have earned to the Panther Store (which is basically full of nothing but little junky toys like you might see in a birthday party goody bag). You can tell when the kids have gone to the store because each one of them is playing with their new little toy. Imagine my surprise that LO chose to get something for PHD rather than to bring home another useless toy. It certainly was one of the most heartfelt gifts ever. Geez, does this kid make me proud.

LO raises her hand

We had a meeting at our shul last night put together by our "Destination Israel" committee. Their job is to promote the upcoming synagogue trip to Israel and to also increase Israel awareness. One of the speakers was the Rabbi from our local JCC who is preparing to make aliyah. He started his speech by asking, "What makes a Jewish home Jewish?" A dead silence occurred at that moment in the room of approximately 60 people. So he asked the question again. Then he said, "Um, I see a hand way in the back but can't see who's hand it is." I turned around to see who it was. Who's hand do you think was raised? Yep, I turned around and saw LO's hand raised high in the air but since she was sitting on the floor all you could see was her little hand. Then we heard her say, "A mezuzzah!" The Rabbi replied, "Great answer. " Then he looked around and said, "Anyone else? Come on - if that little girl can come up with an answer so can all of you." Slowly people started to raise their hands and answer. And I was kvelling that my little one managed to motivate the group.

The Rabbi went on to give a very good talk about Israel and gave many reasons why we need to go to Israel. One point he made was similar to what Psychotoddler mentioned in this post. He talked about how American Jews are losing the war of attrition. He explained that in the US where Jews are a minority and we are so often surrounded by things like Christmas and the Easter Bunny, it's too easy for our kids to stray from their roots. He talked about how important it was for us to teach our children to love being Jewish. And I looked at LO and thought in my head, "Baruch HaShem, we are on the right path."

LO goes to the Chabad

LO goes to her Dad's house every other weekend. He lives in West Palm Beach which is about 100 miles north of where we live . It's hard on LO for many reasons like she can't play with her friends here, she can't go to services at our Shul, she misses Sunday school, etc. My hope was that as she got older we would find a Shul for her that she could go to when she is up there or perhaps we could find somewhere that she could go to Sunday school on the Sundays that she is there. I searched the internet and found out that there is a Chabad within walking distance of her Dad's house! I mentioned this to her a while back but didn't really act on it.

Before leaving for her Dad's this week she asked me if I had a siddur that she could take with her. When I asked her why, she told me that she misses not having Shabbat and that if she had a siddur she could have Shabbat with her stuffed animals in her room there. (Yes - this made my heart melt.) I reminded her about the Chabad and told her that one day I was sure she could go over there and share Shabbat with them.

About an hour before Shabbat I got a phone call from her. She called to say Shabbat Shalom and then she told me that she met the Rabbi and his wife. When I asked her how, she explained that she was walking her Dad's dog and she remembered that I told her about the Chabad. So she looked at all the houses until she found one with a mezuzah. She walked up and rang the doorbell. The Rebbetzin answered the door and here is what LO said,

"Hello. My name is LO. I'm Jewish. My Hebrew name is Shoshana Leah and I am 9 years old."

I wish that I could have seen the Rebbetzin's face as she was looking down at a little Chinese girl saying this to her.

I had a chance to speak with the Rebbetzin. She adores LO and now it looks like I don't have to worry about where LO will spend Shabbat anymore!

Picture time

It's that time of year again - time for the obligatory Chanukah picture that I will send out to friends and family. LO is not always willing to be the subject of my photography and if it were up to her, I think this is the picture everyone would be getting this year...

My green kid

So at first glance you might think LO looks like the Wicked Witch of the West from "The Wizard of Oz". But if you asked her, she would tell you that she is Elphaba, the green witch from the Broadway show, "Wicked". And then she'd sing you a few songs from the show.

Oh boy....just what have I created?

LO talks and talks and talks and...

I ran into LO's teacher for the first time yesterday. He was on leave for the first month of school and has only been back a short while. When I walked into the office he turned and said to me, "Your daughter is so bright and is such a good girl". I was a little surprised since the substitute that was in the class while he was on leave had some problems with LO because apparently LO thought it was necessary to talk ALL THE TIME. I explained this and he said, "Oh, no she always just sits at her desk and is so quiet." He went on, "But today I must have opened the flood gates because I got her to talk and she was so excited."

I got a little nervous about what she might have babbled on about but then he explained that somehow they got on the subject of Israel and he said that all of a sudden LO perked up. Her teacher is not Jewish but he is a Zionist, so the two of them talking about Israel must have been quite a conversation. He showed LO where Israel is on a globe. And she saw Egypt and took that as an opportunity to tell him about the story of Moses and how he led the Jewish people out of Egypt. Then she told him about the Red Sea. And apparently she went on and one and on.

Nice to know that my Hebrew School dollars are being well spent.

Is it time to eat yet?

LO really LOVES to eat. You'd never guess it if you saw her because she is and always has been smaller than all the kids her age. Needless to say, a day of fasting should seem like the end of the world to her. We obviously don't require her to fast but she does try to make an effort to at least skip a meal and possibly a snack. The funny thing is that she will ask a million times and then a million more times, "Is it time to eat yet?" Then I'll tell her to go ahead and eat. Of course, then she'll decide not to eat. I think she just likes to keep asking me over and over again, "Is it time to eat yet?" Or maybe she just likes the bagels, lox, herring, whitefish, etc. that we serve at our break fast. Whatever it is, here we are ready to hear, "Is it time to eat yet?"

Little Orieyenta, PHD, and I wish you all a meaningful and easy fast. G'mar Chatima Tova.

A glimpse at our Yom Tov

We had a lovely Yom Tov and we hope that all of you did as well. I kvetch when I am cooking and baking and covered in flour, oil, etc. but it really is rewarding when it is all over and done with. We had some funny moments so I thought I'd share a few of them:

A phone message from my born-again Christian mother...

"Hello, I called to wish you a Happy New Year. (laughing) La-shay-na something or other. I heard them saying that on the radio."

My mother originally was not all that happy when I officially converted. Slowly but surely she has been trying to be a little more accepting of it (no more Chanukah gifts wrapped in Christmas paper, no more Easter baskets for LO, etc.) So for this phone message, I have to acknowledge that and say nice try Mom.

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A conversation I had with the woman who sat next to me the first day of Rosh Hashanah at Shul...

"You are so beautiful. You have such an oriental look about you."

I then explained that I am Chinese. And she responded...

"Oh well, that explains it."

Ummm...I think that was a compliment.

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A conversation LO and I had...

"Ima, when I grow up, I'm going to get married to a nice Jewish man just like you and Abba. He'll be Jewish and handsome and strong and he'll teach me how to use credit cards!"

Where the heck did she get the idea that a Jewish man would teach her how to use credit cards?

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LO waking up from what looked like a crazy sleep, her bed was all messed up and her head was where her feet usually are and her feet where her head usually is...

"Oh my gosh. What will we do if our succah leaks?"

Nice to know that she is planning ahead.

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And a classic that I am sure anyone who has kids has heard - LO at Tashlich...

"That man threw a whole loaf of bread in the water. He must have been very bad this year."
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Oy am I hungry. Wishing all of you who are fasting today an easy fast.

Winston's New Kippah

You may recall one of my earlier posts about Winston when LO asked if her favourite teddy bear was Jewish. Since then, Winston has become a regular part of our Jewish community. He attends Shabbat services with us, has been to Hebrew school, and he even golfs with our Rabbi.

Not long ago, LO decided that his regular golf clothes (khaki pants, a polo shirt, and a baseball hat) were not nice enough for Shabbat clothes, so off we were to buy Winston a new Shabbat outfit. And no respectable Jewish bear could be caught at shul without a kippah...right?

LO was simply kvelling at Shabbat services over her little bear's new kippah and made sure that everyone saw it. (Me, on the otherhand...I still have that feeling of disbelief that I was actually sitting somewhere sewing a kippah onto a teddy bear's head.)

Special thanks to "Tante Ruth" for crocheting Winston his new kippah! Winston (and LO) love it.

Shabbat Shalom from the Orieyentas and the bear with a kippah.

Ima, what's a bris?

Anyone who is a parent will surely agree with me that every so often there comes a time when their child asks a question that catches you off-guard and you're not quite sure how to respond. I recently experienced one of those moments.

Now that LO is back in school, one of her homework assignments is to read 30 minutes every day. It came as no surprise to me that the first book she grabbed from her collection of books was "The Hebrew Kid and the Apache Maiden". (Written by the wonderful and talented member of our very own Jblogosphere, Robert J. Avrech.) Every night after reading a chapter we discuss it. After reading the last chapter she asked me, "Ima, what's a bris?" Had I been prepared for this conversation I might have said something like, "It's the time when a Jewish baby boy is welcomed into a covenant between G-d and the Jewish people." Yeah, that's what I would have said....if I had been prepared. But...I was not not and so the conversation carried on something like this...

Me: Well, it's um, uh...it's when they cut a small part of a baby's penis off.

LO: (shocked) What?

Me: (dying that I actually have to say it again to her) It's when a mohel cuts off a small part of a baby's penis.

LO: What's a mohel?

Me: (thinking this conversation is not going well) It's a man who can be a Rabbi or a doctor who performs the circumcision which is what it is called.

LO: Why?

Me: (thinking when is this conversation going to end?) Because a very long time ago, G-d and Abraham made an agreement that all Jewish males would do this.

LO: Did Abba do it?

Me: Yes, Abba did it.

LO: (wide-eyed) Can I see?

Me: (wanting to die from this conversation) No - you can't see it silly-head.

LO: Well, thank goodness I'm not a boy because I bet it would hurt.

And just as out of the blue that this conversation started, it ended and she started talking about school and her teddy bear Winston as though this conversation had never happened. And oh was I ever thankful.

Happy Birthday Little Orieyenta

Yesterday was LO's 9th birthday. We took our annual birthday trip to Disney World and this year we added a visit to Universal Studios. She talked about the trip for most of the way home (yes. that's a 4 hour drive and yes, that it a LOT of talking) so I would have to say that she had a great time. I asked her what her favourite things were in each park. She liked the Men in Black ride at Universal (which actually made me so dizzy that I wanted to be sick!) and Carousel of Progress and the Hall of Presidents at Magic Kingdom (yes, those are dorky but she's so cute, so who cares if she's dorky?)

I can't believe she's 9 already...where is the time going?

Coconuts

I was talking to PHD on the phone the other morning and he was out by our pool with LO. I could hear LO's voice in the background and then PHD started to laugh. Apparently some coconuts had fallen from our coconut tree. LO had gathered them up and she was standing over them with a stick talking to them and herding them like animals. Is this a sign that she has been an only child too long? Thank goodness school started today!

Venus can't be a goddess

(The Birth of Venus by Sandro Botticelli)

During the summer we have been working with LO to improve her reading comprehension. We bought her a workbook that has several stories in it and after each story there are questions about the story. Today's story was the story from Roman mythology about Venus, Psyche and Cupid.

LO was confused by all the unusual names in the story and before she answered any of the questions about the story, she asked PHD, "Wait, who's Venus?" PHD replied, "She was the goddess of love". LO replied matter-of-factly, "Well there's only one G-d, so she can't be a goddess". Nice to know that she takes the words of the Shema that we say every morning and evening to heart.