A visit from "Gung Gung"

I'm ashamed to admit that I hadn't seen my Dad in almost 6 years. He lives in New York and while I have always had good intentions of going to visit at least once a year, somehow things always come up. I guess he decided that it had been far too long, because he decided to come and pay us a visit. If you would have seen LO with him you would have never guessed that she had not seen him since she was 3 years old. She definitely fit the role of "Grandpa's little girl" quite well and I must say that my Dad was quite the natural grandfather.

It really was a lovely visit and it definitely made me realize that I need to make a bigger effort to allow LO and her "Gung Gung" (Cantonese for Grandfather) more bonding time. Dad and PHD even had a little bonding time...PHD asked him for permission to marry me and Dad gave his blessing. Life is good.

LO's continued matchmaking

With all the talk of marriage, you would think that LO was a shadchan in training. She has certainly made it clear that she approves of the shidduch between me and PHD. We had a conversation the other day when she explained how she would like to call PHD "Abba" once we get married. I adore how she has her own little "plan" of how life is going to be.

At the dinner table last night, came this conversation....

LO: Do you want to marry my Mom?

PHD: Yes I do.

Me: Why do you think PHD and I should get married?

LO: Well, he's Jewish.

Me: Well, yes that is important.

LO: And he's nice. And he's playful.

Me: Ok, those are good things.

LO: And he COOKS for me!

Looks like not only has he won my heart....but he has won hers as well!

My PHD

Here's a picture of us so that Jack can’t call PHD a mystery man anymore. (Gotta love those self-portrait cell phone pictures!)

And here’s a little more about him…

~ I met him at shul. (Really can you think of a better place to meet a nice Jewish man?)

~ He is from Chicago.

~ He invited LO on our first “date”.

~ He is a college professor and he must be a pretty darn good one because just about any time we go out anywhere, former students come up to him and tell them how much they enjoyed his classes.

~ He has a daughter who’s Hebrew name is the same as LO’s Hebrew name.

~ He is an excellent cook. In fact, he is so good that I haven’t had to make a meal in ages.

~ I knew I was destined to fall in love with him the first time I heard him say the Shema and the V'Ahavta with LO.

~ He loves Israel and spends at least a month there every year. (Aliyah with him is most certainly a possibility.)

~ He has a PHD which made it easy to identify him using that on my blog. (However, it is also stands for a nickname that I gave him even before I blogged about him.)

~ When I met him, he had only said "I love you" to FOUR women in his entire life. I became the FIFTH one.

~ When I made the decision to move in with him, he basically told me that we could re-decorate and re-do anything in the house that I wanted to.

~ He promises me that we will live long wonderful lives together. I asked him if I could have that in writing. He said yes...complete with two Rabbis and two witnesses.

Yep, I'm keeping him...for ALWAYS. (And LO approves!)

One step closer to the chuppah

Things have been going quite nicely with PHD. Together with him, LO and I feel like we have made ourselves quite a nice little family. He treats LO no differently than if she were his own daughter and he and I feel as though we "complete each other" (as cliche as that may sound).

So, I've decided to take one step closer to the chuppah with him...

(photo: snarbles.com)

LO and I are moving in with him. I LOATHE moving more than any activity that I can think of. I swore when I moved the last time that they would have to take me out of the house in a hearse before I would move again. But...PHD is worth it. And this makes me one step closer to my dreams...a family, the chuppah, and finally aliyah. Wish us luck.

Wedding "Vowels"

So apparently LO is not giving up on this whole marriage idea. She has continued to grill me about if and when I would like to get married to the man she has chosen for me.

(From now on, I'm going to refer to him as PHD since I am sure her quest is far from over and I actually relish the idea of keeping him around for a very long time.)

So, in the car on the way to his house for dinner last night (yes, you read that right, he actually makes dinner for us!) here was the conversation:

LO: Mama, if you get married to PHD are you going to have to say wedding vowels?

Me: (very confused) What are wedding vowels?

LO: You know, like with this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

Me: (in complete shock) LO, where did you learn that?

LO: From the movie "The Corpse Bride". (laughing) Those are the vowels he is supposed to say but he gets so nervous that he actually ends up saying, "With this candle I light your mother on fire." And then he lights her mother on fire. Isn't that funny?

Me: (At a loss for what to say) Um. Sure. I think.

I wasn't sure if:

1. I should laugh at her use of the word "vowels" for the word "vows"
   
2. I should worry that she is so fixated on marrying me off
   
3. She was comparing me to a corpse
   
4. She was telling me that PHD might light my mother on fire
   

One thing I do know for sure...I think she has watched that movie too many times.

Shabbat Shalom.

A shidduch for me?

She is persistent if anything and so LO has continued to do what she calls shopping for a husband for me.

Here's her latest attempt with the man she has chosen for my husband:

LO: Are you Jewish?

(Since we met him at shul, she had to know he is Jewish but I am guessing that she was just double-checking to be on the safe side.)

Him: Yes

LO: Do you like Chinese ladies?

Him: Yes - I like them A LOT.

LO: Do you like little Chinese girls?

Him: Yes - I love them and I love to eat them up.

(She looked amused albeit a tad bit scared at this comment.)

LO: Would you like to marry a Chinese lady? You know, like my Mom?

Him: I think so.

Uh-oh. Could this actually be a shidduch for me?

LO the shadchan?

Last month LO seemed to be searching for a husband of her own. However, it seems that lately she has taken it upon herself to search for a husband for me. Oh yeah, I know you think this sounds cute but really how does it look when your 8-year old is trying to find you a husband? Yep, you're right. It's PATHETHIC. (But then again, I'll take LO's matchmaking over JDate nightmares anyday!)

Her first attempt at playing shadchan was her suggestion that our Rabbi would be a great husband for me. Yep - she aims high - she went straight for the Rabbi. I had to explain that there was just one problem with this suggestion...he's married.

She didn't let her first failed attempt at a shidduch deter her from trying again. She spends much of her time at shul looking around and pointing out men who she thinks would be great husbands for me. She doesn't factor into the equation that most of the men she points out are either (1) married, (2) over the age of 70, or (3) all of the above.

I think she has now given up on trying to gain my approval. At shul the other day she ran up to a very good friend of mine and motioned to him to bend down so she could tell him something. He laughed and had a huge grin on his face.

Want to know what she whispered in his ear?

"Marry my Mom."

Do you think he'll take her advice?

LO's search for a husband

In the past few weeks it seems as though a lot of "serious" conversations with LO have been happening in the car on the way to school. (I fear that this means that LO is becoming one of those dreaded "morning people".)

This morning's conversation started like this, "Mama, when I want to get married, how will I know if the boy is Jewish?"

I was speechless (which is not usual for me).

What could I say? Here's what went through my head...

- He'll look Jewish. Nope, that won't work - after all we don't "look" Jewish.

- Let me think...uh, he had a bris - oh no don't go there cause then you'll have to explain something else you're not ready to explain.

- Umm...she'll meet him at Hebrew School - can't do that - all the children in her class are girls!

- He'll have a Jewish last name. Nope, our last name is as common a Chinese name as Wong is and that doesn't "sound" Jewish.

While I was searching for an answer, she continued..."I know. I'll be able to see his tzitzit." I went on to explain that some men tuck them so that she wouldn't be able to tell that way either.

Still lost for a really good answer and puzzled at why at 8 years old she is thinking about who she will marry, I decided to tell her that she has a long time before she needed to worry about it and that I was sure she would marry a nice Jewish boy.

Her response? "Yes cause that would make you happy."

She sure got that right. (I am a Yiddishe Mama after all!)