Friday, February 02, 2007

Here come the Kosher Police

LO and I were invited to accompany a very good friend to Parrot Jungle. Since it's pretty expensive to get in there (around $27 each). I jumped at the opportunity to go for free. (Yes, I admit it, I have a little schnorrer in me.) What I didn't understand from the invitation was that before we went to enjoy the Parrot Jungle, we had to attend a luncheon that was a fundraiser for the Archdiocese of Miami.

As many of you know, LO ALWAYS speaks her mind, so before we entered the banquet hall, I pulled her aside and explained that this was a luncheon for the Catholic church and that it was ok for us to be there. The onslaught of questions and comments from her at that point were hilarious..."Mama, we're Jewish", "But these people are scary", "Is this like going to church?", "Will we still be Jewish if we go in?" Just to name a few.

We went in and sat at our table. The lunch plates were already on the table and LO looks at the plate and here is the look she made:

The meal was a mixed green salad with grilled chicken. Next to the grilled chicken were several slices of mozarella CHEESE with tomatoes. I knew she was going to panic and I tried to explain to her that we didn't need to eat anything there. However...before I had the chance, I saw the look on her face which was followed by what I can only describe as a sound similar to an ambulance siren. This of course was followed by her reiterating the Laws of Kashrut to me and then by pointing to everyone's plate on the table to show them how they had meat and dairy ON THE SAME PLATE -- IN THE SAME MEAL! (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my kid is the "Kosher Police".) I politely put my hand over her mouth and got her to stop squealing. So that the people at our table were able to enjoy their lunch (despite the dirty looks LO was giving them) I tried to distract her for the rest of the meal by playing with her and Winston. It was one of the L O N G E S T lunches of my life.

Shabbat Shalom.


Carol said...

I love your blog! I stumbled on it a few days ago and have been reading your archives. I was sad to learn last month that China has decided to stop allowing single women to adopt. I hope LO got a chance to see that non-Jews aren't scary even though we eat meat with dairy! Good shabbes to you both!

Jessica said...

That is somewhat hilarious and horrifying all at the same time. Lunch must have felt like it was never going to end.

LO and the parrots looked really cute.

Kol Ra'ash Gadol said...


My son is almost three, and he hasn't really started noticing stuff lik e that yet (and it may take longer since our house is dairy veg, and he's never eaten meat at all, so may not realise yet about separating it). I can't wait until something like that happens though. My best story so far involves the rather blue language he learned from his father being repeated loudly at the senior rabbi (not a laid back dude) at our shul.

Jack's Shack said...

I love kids. You never know what they are going to do.

Anonymous said...

The look on her face is incredible. I laughed out loud again at her antics. She is a truly unique individual.

RaggedyMom said...

That face is priceless! Coming soon to a billboard near you!

We loved the Parrot Jungle when we were there last year. (But yeah, $$$ alert!) Ann had this fixation in her head that the parrots were falling, and kept talking about it. Those photos are still some of our favorites!

muse said...

great story, great post, adorable child!!

My under-4-year-old granddaughter always asks "which sink" when she's told to put something in.

Yaakov Kirschen said...

what a lovely, delightful posting.
thank you,
Dry Bones
Israel's Political Comic Strip Since 1973

orieyenta said...

Thanks everyone! She really is quite some character. They had a breakfast this morning at her school where she proudly announced that she is the "Kosher Police". Like I always say, she certainly could be worse things in life.