My PHD

Here's a picture of us so that Jack can’t call PHD a mystery man anymore. (Gotta love those self-portrait cell phone pictures!)

And here’s a little more about him…

~ I met him at shul. (Really can you think of a better place to meet a nice Jewish man?)

~ He is from Chicago.

~ He invited LO on our first “date”.

~ He is a college professor and he must be a pretty darn good one because just about any time we go out anywhere, former students come up to him and tell them how much they enjoyed his classes.

~ He has a daughter who’s Hebrew name is the same as LO’s Hebrew name.

~ He is an excellent cook. In fact, he is so good that I haven’t had to make a meal in ages.

~ I knew I was destined to fall in love with him the first time I heard him say the Shema and the V'Ahavta with LO.

~ He loves Israel and spends at least a month there every year. (Aliyah with him is most certainly a possibility.)

~ He has a PHD which made it easy to identify him using that on my blog. (However, it is also stands for a nickname that I gave him even before I blogged about him.)

~ When I met him, he had only said "I love you" to FOUR women in his entire life. I became the FIFTH one.

~ When I made the decision to move in with him, he basically told me that we could re-decorate and re-do anything in the house that I wanted to.

~ He promises me that we will live long wonderful lives together. I asked him if I could have that in writing. He said yes...complete with two Rabbis and two witnesses.

Yep, I'm keeping him...for ALWAYS. (And LO approves!)

Where's LO?

LO came home with this class picture in her backpack. For some reason the picture made me giggle...

Can you pick out the Jewish kid in this picture?

(Hint: She's the one wearing the uniform that I've been told makes her look like a Catholic school girl!)

Baking Challah

I learned how to bake challah a little over a year ago in the kitchen at my shul. Ever since then, I have made fresh challot for every Shabbat. To me, the smell of challah wafting through our house is such a sweet reminder of the coming of Shabbat. And as sentimental as this sounds, I also love knowing that while I am making my challot that there are thousands of other Jewish women all over the world doing the same exact thing as they prepare for Shabbat.

Last week Babka Nosher shared her challah recipe which is a little different than my recipe. I decided that it would be fun to try another recipe. So here's a look at how our Shabbat challot came out. And oh were they DELICIOUS! Thanks Babka Nosher!

One step closer to the chuppah

Things have been going quite nicely with PHD. Together with him, LO and I feel like we have made ourselves quite a nice little family. He treats LO no differently than if she were his own daughter and he and I feel as though we "complete each other" (as cliche as that may sound).

So, I've decided to take one step closer to the chuppah with him...

(photo: snarbles.com)

LO and I are moving in with him. I LOATHE moving more than any activity that I can think of. I swore when I moved the last time that they would have to take me out of the house in a hearse before I would move again. But...PHD is worth it. And this makes me one step closer to my dreams...a family, the chuppah, and finally aliyah. Wish us luck.

Bagels at snacktime

As most Jewish parents know, Jewish Day Schools are expensive. And as a single mother, I have not been able to afford to send LO to one although I have never given up hope.

Florida is well-known for having some of the worst public schools. The saving grace for us is that my company has what is called a "satellite school" which is technically a public school but only children of the people who work for my company can attend. This makes for much smaller class sizes and allows for much more personal attention from teachers for the children. Ok, so it's no Jewish Day School but it has worked well for LO so far.

Snacks are provided for the children in the afternoon. Being the Kosher Police, LO is always checking for hechsherim but since the Pesach "rules" are a little different I made sure she knew that she should only eat what I had packed her in her lunchbox and nothing else.

When I picked her up from school I asked her what she had for snack. She told me that she had eaten the apple I packed her and then she said, "Mama! They had BAGELS for snack! Can you believe it?" How's that for chutzpah? No, I couldn't believe it.

Now where is that application for the Jewish day school? Maybe I should take out a second mortgage.

I know I don't LOOK Jewish!

I have this purse made by the Rabbi's Daughters which has a bunch of Yiddish words on it. When I carry it, the purse always seems to solicit comments. Some people think it's cute. Some people want to know what all the words mean. Some people want to know where I got it. Some people just stare at me confused - I'm assuming it's because they are wondering what on Earth a Chinese woman is doing with a purse with Yiddish words on it.

So I was sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office and a woman asked me where I got it. I told her and then I told her that I bet I have made the company some money because people are always asking me where I got it. I explained that I knew several women at my shul who have bought it after they saw me with it. All of a sudden, a man on the other side of the waiting room said, "Wow - you sure don't look Jewish." He then pointed to his nose and said, "I looked Jewish but then I had my nose fixed." I just smiled and nodded my head. I was in shock at how ignorant these sterotypes sounded to me. A few minutes later he was on his cell phone whispering (but not softly enough that I couldn't hear him), "You'll never believe this but I am in the waiting room at the doctor's office with a CHINESE JEWISH WOMAN! Can you imagine that?"

Thanks to him, I know what it's like to feel like one of those acts in a freak show.

On your doorposts and on your gates...

(photo: Candace West/Miami Herald)

My boss comes over to my desk every morning to check in and see how things are going. This morning instead of his usual work banter, he asked me if I have a mezuzah on my front door at home. Despite the fact that I was puzzled by why he was asking this question, I explained that not only did I have one on my front door but that I have one on the entry to every room in my home except for the closets and the bathrooms. He went on to explain that he was asking because he had read an article in the Miami Herald today about a woman who fought her condo association when they asked her to take her mezuzah down. (You can read the full article here.) The article states that Laurie Richter said, ''I figured it was going to be OK in light of the fact that there were wreaths hung all over the building when I moved in." Not surprisingly, she has won the battle against the condo association.

I am shocked that things like this happen in this day and age. And while I believe this should have never happened, good has come out of it because Florida State Representive Julio Robaina is now sponsoring a bill that includes a provision to ensure that residents will have the right to hang a mezuzah.

May we all always find the strength that Ms. Richter has displayed to stand up for what is right and always be unwavering in our faith.

Shabbat Shalom.

A LO Pesach moment

(This is a project LO did in Hebrew school. I think her depiction of boils may be my favorite of the lot.)

On the way to our first seder, I explained to LO that since she would most likely be the youngest child there she would be asked to say the "Ma Nistanah". Her Hebrew school class has been practicing it for weeks but I had only heard heard her singing the first verse and the refrain so I wasn't sure if she knew the whole thing or if she would need to read it. Since she is not the quickest reader when it comes to Hebrew, I asked her if she would be ok reading the Hebrew from the Haggadah or if she wanted me to find the transliteration for her. Her response?

"The Cantor told us in Hebrew school that one of the Ten Commandments is that we HAVE to read the Hebrew. It's against the law to read the transliteration."

I smiled and tried not to giggle. I explained that I was sure it was not one of the Ten Commandments but that I was THRILLED that she was choosing to work her way through the Hebrew rather than resorting to the transliteration.

She did a FABULOUS job at both seders. I am still kvelling.

Chag Kasher V'Sameach

Despite the fact that things are quite hectic here at this pre-Pesach hour, I thought I'd come and write a meaningful post to wish everyone a wonderful Passover, but I decided there was no way I could write anything as touching as Trepp has. Be sure to stop by his place to read this post.

Chag Kasher V'Sameach to all of you and your families from me and my little Orieyenta.

A trip to the Matzah Factory

LO's Hebrew school class just took a field trip to visit the "Matzah Factory" at our local Chabad. She was thrilled about this field trip because she LOVES matzah. Each of the children got a chance to make matzah from scratch. They went through the whole process starting with grinding the wheat all the way through the rolling and baking. When it was all over and done with, each child went home with a cute little box containing the matzah they made. (The matzah in the picture was indeed handmade by LO. Not bad huh?)

I asked LO if she liked the field trip. Her response was, "It was fun making the matzah. But only meshugganah people make matzah like that. Who grinds the wheat for matzah when you can just go to the store and buy it?" Oy...is that a sign of our times or what?

Wishing everyone a blessed Shabbat HaGadol.

Could my kid be any more Jewish?

We went to a party on Saturday night to celebrate the Hebrew naming of a little girl in LO's class who just got adopted. The mother really outdid herself and if you were just passing by the party, I am certain that it appeared to be as grandiose as many bar mitzvahs are these days.

In one corner there were two clowns. LO has clown-a-phobia so I figured as soon as she saw them she would be hiding behind me for the rest of the night. But across the room I saw her watch from a distance as the clowns made balloon animals and painted the other kids' faces. I guess she saw that the clowns weren't going to go psycho and kill her because then I saw her step into the line to get her face painted. I watched other kids running by - one little girl had some flowers on her face, another had a princess crown on her forehead, another with a peace sign (guess her parents grew up in the 60's) and then came my little girl...


why was I not surprised? Just when I thought she couldn't be any more Jewish.

Bedtime Rituals

(Yes, those are curlers - she loves to have curly hair!)

Every night when LO goes to bed, I tuck her in and we say the Shema together. This is always followed by a series of hugs and kisses and the following dialogue:

Laila tov.

Jo tau.

Buenos noches.

Bonne nuit.

Good night.

I love you.

(Goodnight in Hebrew, Cantonese, Spanish, French and English respectively.)

I hope this is a "bedtime ritual" she nevers grows too old for.

Shabbat Shalom.

Off to the theatre

I'm not sure how many of you know this, but I was a theatre major in college. I'm not sure if I believed back then that I would ever be able to make a living by singing and tap dancing, but I guess it seemed like a good choice at the time. Once I got out of college I did professional theatre and opera for a while, worked on a couple of cruise ships, even did some theme park work. It was fun. I saw the world. But as much as I loved it, I had a greater need in life. I wanted to settle down and have a child. And so while all of my friends were going on to do Broadway and Las Vegas shows, I was settling in Miami and getting ready to adopt LO.

I can't lie. I miss it. I miss the lights. I miss the sound of the applause. I miss the rush of being in front of an audience. But I wouldn't trade my life with LO for it.


PHD and I are going to the theatre to see Wicked tonight. Tickets were incredibly hard to get but we somehow managed to get orchestra center seats. I'm thrilled because nowadays I have to get my "theatre fix" by sitting in the audience instead of being on stage. It's not quite the same but you have to admit, there's nothing quite like live theatre.

Passing over just like Passover

I am not sure how popular these are elsewhere, but here in Miami you can hardly go anywhere that you don't see a child whizzing by on Heelys. (They are actually so popular for the kids and so distracting that many of the schools have banned the wearing of them during the school day!) For those of you who don't know what they are, they are sneakers that have wheels in the heels, hence the name "Heelys". As is any trend for kids these days, they are not inexpensive, but I gave in and got LO a pair. LO loves to skate (or heel as the case may be) around in these any time there seems to be an open space large enough (and much to my chagrin, even when the space isn't large enough.)

Yesterday we went to the large chain (non-Kosher) grocery store. It's not the one closest to our house but it's the one with the largest Kosher section and the only one in our area that carries fresh Kosher meats. We were surprised to walk in and find one of the largest Pesach sections we have ever seen in this store. LO was thrilled with what I can only describe as the Kosher chocolate aisle. Her favorites are the dark chocolate dinosaurs, which just so happened to be right at her height so she could grab several boxes. So, as I was filling the basket in preparation for Peasch, she was skating around me and all the other Pesach shoppers giving them a good rendition of Ma Nistanah followed by her version of Dayenu (let's just say that other than the actual word "Dayenu", I don't think any of the other words she said were Hebrew.) At one point as she was passing me by - she said, "Mama, I'm passing over just like Passover."

I had to laugh and just shake my head at this show she was giving the other shoppers. Where else in the world can you find a Chinese kid on skates rolling around the Pesach section at the grocery store and singing Pesach songs?

Explaining the Holocaust to LO

(Photo: Mariusz Kubik)

LO often has to do a current event for school. She always asks me to find a Jewish-themed article and this week's article was about Poland's Senate honoring Irena Sendler. Irena Sendler is a 97-year old Catholic woman who saved 2,500 Jewish children during the Holocaust.

LO and I have briefly discussed the Holocaust before but in a very simplistic manner since I struggle with feeling as though she may be too young to comprehend it all at this time. She is usually satisfied with my vague explanations but this time she decided to ask a whole lot of questions (which as usual I was not prepared to answer.)

I started by going over the basics which we had discussed before. She stopped me after my first sentence and said, "Ok, NOW you are freaking me out." Well, that freaked me out because I want to educate her but I don't want her to have nightmares because of it. So I proceeded on cautiously. She interjected, "Wait, why would anyone want to kill Jews? We are nice people." I tried to candy-coat it and explain that Hitler didn't think we were such nice people. Her reply? "Well, that Hitler guy is meshugganah." I agreed. She then asked if Hitler was still alive. When I told her no she said, "Good, cause I was scared he would come and get me. But even if he were alive maybe he wouldn't know I'm Jewish cause I don't look Jewish, I look Chinese." I didn't have the heart to tell her that he probably didn't like the Chinese people either.

How do you explain such an atrocity to a child?

LO's Pre-Pesach Babbling

(My shiksa niece when I introduced her to matzah last Pesach!)

As many of you know, LO LOVES to talk. I often marvel at how much she talks because I feel like if my mouth moved as much as hers does, my jaws would hurt. Following Hebrew school yesterday, Pesach was clearly on her mind. In between her singing eight million refrains of "Halaileh hazeh, halaileh hazeh" here is some of what I heard from the back seat of my car:

"Eww...are we going to have to eat that ickity stuff on the matzah again?" (I'm assuming she meant maror.)

"No bread right? How about bagels? Ok, how about challah? Um...how about pita?" She named just about every bread product she could think of and I just kept saying no over and over until she said, "NO MATZAH BALL SOUP???" I automatically said no and then started to giggle since she caught me off guard.

And since we were on the subject of food...

"Can I have matzah with salami in my lunchbox? Can you make me maztah pizza? What else can you make me?"

Oy...what will drive me meshugganah first? The Pesach babbling or the Pesach cleaning?

*BTW - since we live in a predominately Spanish speaking city, one of the children at Hebrew school giggles every time they sing "haleilah hazeh kulo matzah". I shudder to think about the day that LO figures out what that word translates into in Spanish.

A little shluf

Danny has already posted basically what I feel about this whole Daylight Savings Time thing and I hate to kvetch but....LO and I are REALLY tired and could use a little shluf!

LO has Hebrew school on Tuesdays. Since I have to go to work early so I can leave early to get her to Hebrew school on time, we get up earlier on Tuesdays than we do the rest of the week. When I went to wake LO up this morning, she basically rolled over and pretended she didn't hear me. When I finally succeeded in waking her, she sat up and said, "It's dark outside, I have to go to school in the dark?" Even with my sleep-clouded mind she managed to make me giggle.

And so here I sit having had at least a gallon of coffee trying to stay awake at work and trying not to think about how tired I am and trying not to think about how Pesach cleaning is just around the corner. Oy, does it feel like a Monday.

Chinese Jewish Adoptees

photo by: James Estin/The New York Times

It's interesting to me that on Wednesday I blogged about LO's adoption and then yesterday The New York Times ran an article about a Chinese adoptee who had just completed her bat mitzvah. (Thank you to everyone who sent and/or told me about the article!)

LO and I are the only Chinese members at our shul. And I know of only one other adult Chinese Jew (who found me through this blog!) But I have to wonder with the large number of Chinese children who have been adopted by Jewish families, will we start to see a change in the demographics soon? It will be interesting to see.

Shabbat Shalom.

Adoption Nostalgia

As any parent knows, it seems that our children grow up WAY too fast. A day hardly goes by when I look at LO and can't believe how grown up she is getting. It seems like the trip to China to get her was just yesterday.

For those of you who don't know much about the way the Chinese adoption process works, here's a brief explanation. It basically involves a WHOLE LOT of paperwork (and a WHOLE lot of $$.) Once you make your way through the paperwork, home studies, fingerprinting, etc. you basically send all your papers to China and then you wait. And then you wait some more. And then you WAIT even more. Until the day when you finally get "The Call" and are told that you have a child waiting in China for you.

My call came in March 2001 - just shy of six years ago. The above picture on the left is the first picture I ever saw of my daughter. The above picture on the right is a picture of her this past Sunday at our Purim carnival. LO was 21 months old when we met in May 2001. She stood 31 inches tall and weighed all of 16 pounds. Look at her now. What a difference love can make. And what a blessing G-d gave me.

LO's Purim Shpiel Song

This is LO with our Rabbi. Can you tell what his costume is?

This was LO's second costume. She said she was dressed as a Chinese Jewish kid!

Our shul did a take on the "Sound of Music" called the "Sound of Shushan". Here's a clip of LO's song from the shpiel. (It's also included on the Purim Podcast over at Jameel's.) Enjoy!

(It's supposed to be to the tune of "My Favourite Things", so use your imagination!)

purim01.wav

Purim Sameach

LO and I would like to wish everyone Shabbat Shalom and Purim Sameach.

(Does anyone remember a Chinese Tinkerbell in the story of Purim?)

My Vegas trip in pictures

Just kidding - there was no Rabbi Elvis for us while we were there.

The most important part of my trip was visiting with my grandmother and driving her to the cemetary to see my step-father Z"L. I could not have asked for a more beautiful day for this visit. The weather was perfect.

I had almost forgot how beautiful Nevada was. And it still amazes me that I can see this at the same place I can see all of this:

The Strip at night

Fountains at the Fall of Atlantis - Caesars Palace

The Chihuly ceiling at the Bellagio

Outside Caesars Palace

Outside the Paris Hotel

We got comps for the Carrot Top show. I wasn't sure if I was going to enjoy this but he was very funny. It just so happened we were there on his birthday so they had a birthday celebration for him just as the show was over complete with birthday guests Louie Anderson and Robin Leach.

It was a nice trip but I am glad to be home, despite the fact that I brought home a horrible cold and I have to start baking hamentaschen!

Meshugganah Hamentashen

Here they are...our first attempt.

(Ok - our second attempt - our first attempt tasted like chalky rocks. We may be able to use them as paperweights or doorstops.)

Yes - this is what happens when an 8-year old and her non-baking/"should really stay out of the kitchen" mother attempt to bake.

Do they look meshugganah? If LO and I sent you mishloach manot with these included, would you eat them?

LO's Jewish Viewpoint

On Sunday, in the car while driving past a church...

LO: (on seeing all the cars in the parking lot) Wow, that temple sure has a lot of people at it!

Me: LO, that's not a temple, that's a church.

LO: Uh-huh, it's a temple. See that big "T" on the top of the building? (pointing at the cross on top of the church) That's a "T" for temple.

At Target in the card aisle...

LO: (reading greeting cards aloud) "Eater" is coming.

Me: Uh, that's EASTER not eater.

LO: Oh, I thought it meant it was time to eat.

At dinner the other night...

LO: Mama, do Christian people get to eat kosher food?

Me: Sure, they can eat kosher food if they like.

LO: So they can eat OUR food but we can't eat theirs?

Me: Sort of.

LO: That's not fair but at least we don't have to eat their ham or shrimp.

If only I could be inside her head sometimes and see just what was happening in there!

Shabbat Shalom.

Valentine's Day isn't all that bad

I haven't been all that lucky in love, plus as a Jew, celebrating a holiday named after a SAINT seems a little odd to me. I've certainly never been as anti-Valentine's as Jack but...Valentine's Day in the past has usually been no different than any other day. Until this year...

LO's teacher invited all the parents to school to surprise the kids with a party. When PHD and I showed up at LO's class, she ran to him and hugged him. Here is an idea of how happy she was to see him:


LO had a surprise for me too. She made me this heart:

(Forgive me for the bad cell phone picture.)

The heart she made for PHD said, "handsome, kind, praying, working, loving, a person who is cute, friend". She actually wrote the first word as "hamsom" which I thought was funny since she is the kosher police. (Oh and I thought it was interesting that she had written "praying" for both of us...guess she is REALLY used to seeing us daven!)

After the party I went back to work and it was basically an uneventful day although everytime I talked to PHD on the phone or via Skype, I could tell he was up to something but he wouldn't reveal anything.

We went to PHD's for dinner and when we arrived, the table was set beautifully with rose petals, cards and gifts for me and LO. He had spent much of the day decorating and making dinner. It was lovely, complete with a salad with vegetables that PHD had carved into little hearts. Dinner was tilapia with lemon sauce and capers followed by a dessert of chocolate mousse a la PHD. (Two of my very favorites that he makes!)

And here's a glimpse of what happened next....

(ed. note: Don't worry, I haven't thrown tzniut out the window - this is not an actual picture of me, I found it on Google somewhere. I WISH I were as thin as this woman and that I actually had a bathtub this large!)

Yes - I believe this one is a "keeper". (And LO agrees.)

Rabbi Elvis?

My relationship with PHD has been sort of a whirlwird romance. He is a wonderful man, I adore him, LO adores him, and he's Jewish - really what more could I ask for?

(Ok, you're right, I could ask for a lot more, and he actually is so much more than I could have ever hoped for.)

So, when I was telling friends that we were going to Las Vegas together, I was met with, "You're not going there to get married are you?" My response was, "Of course not...unless I can find a Rabbi who happens to be an Elvis impersonator." Yep - that got a blank stare. But afterall, if you're going to get married in Las Vegas, it has got to be by an Elvis, right? Then, I took it even further and asked, "Should it be the young hip-swinging Elvis or the old drugged up Elvis?" Friends who know me well know that when I say meshugganah things like this, there have been times when I actually was not joking, so I had to then assure everyone that I am not going to Vegas to get married by a Rabbi Elvis.

Later I was talking with PHD and he mentioned that when we get married (yes, you read that right) he would like two Rabbis to officiate - our Rabbi and a close friend of his who is a Rabbi. Jokingly I said, "Let's bring them to Vegas with us - we can have both - one dressed as the young hip-swinging Elvis and the other as the old drugged up Elvis."

So which would you choose? The young hip-swinging Elvis or the old drugged up Elvis?

(Wouldn't it be funny if our Rabbi dressed as Elvis for Purim?)

Vegas here I come

Because of things like this and this, I don't generally enjoy traveling. I get shpilkes sitting anywhere (like on an airplane) for any length of time.

My Nana (who lives in Las Vegas) has been calling me constantly over the past few weeks. She always ends each conversation with, "So, when are you coming to see me? It's been a long time." (Yep - she's got that Jewish guilt thing down to a science.)

Also, it just so happens that PHD is going there for a conference.

So, I finally caved in and I am heading to Las Vegas to see my Nana and to share a little fun time with PHD. I haven't been out there since 1999 when my Stepfather Z"L passed away. I hear that I won't recognize the place. I'll be there over Shabbos, so if anyone has any suggestions for shuls, please let me know!

Wedding "Vowels"

So apparently LO is not giving up on this whole marriage idea. She has continued to grill me about if and when I would like to get married to the man she has chosen for me.

(From now on, I'm going to refer to him as PHD since I am sure her quest is far from over and I actually relish the idea of keeping him around for a very long time.)

So, in the car on the way to his house for dinner last night (yes, you read that right, he actually makes dinner for us!) here was the conversation:

LO: Mama, if you get married to PHD are you going to have to say wedding vowels?

Me: (very confused) What are wedding vowels?

LO: You know, like with this hand I will lift your sorrows. Your cup will never be empty, for I will be your wine. With this candle, I will light your way into darkness. With this ring, I ask you to be mine.

Me: (in complete shock) LO, where did you learn that?

LO: From the movie "The Corpse Bride". (laughing) Those are the vowels he is supposed to say but he gets so nervous that he actually ends up saying, "With this candle I light your mother on fire." And then he lights her mother on fire. Isn't that funny?

Me: (At a loss for what to say) Um. Sure. I think.

I wasn't sure if:

1. I should laugh at her use of the word "vowels" for the word "vows"
   
2. I should worry that she is so fixated on marrying me off
   
3. She was comparing me to a corpse
   
4. She was telling me that PHD might light my mother on fire
   

One thing I do know for sure...I think she has watched that movie too many times.

Shabbat Shalom.

Homework or Lunchbox?

(Illustration by David Shannon- one of LO's favorite authors)

This morning as I was walking in the parking lot on the way to my office, another mother from LO's school was driving by and stopped her car near me. She rolled down her window and said, "I thought you might want to know that your daughter is crying." This took me by surprise as I had dropped her off only minutes ago and when I left she was happily waving, blowing kisses, and saying "I love you" as she went to her classroom.

She told her friend's mother that she had left her homework at home. I was confused by this since I remember her specifically telling me last night that she was double checking everything in her backpack to make sure that she had all of her homework.

Since she is always on the "A" Honor Roll and one of the top students (yes - I'm kvelling) I figured that I could call the teacher and she would give her a break for this one time. So I called the school. I explained to her what happened and she basically said it was no big deal. She then let me talk to LO. As LO was coming to the phone, I could hear her crying. I could also hear her teacher telling her, "I hope that crying isn't because of your homework, who cares about your homework? You don't need to cry sweetie." Through her tears she told me that she left her homework on the table. I knew this wasn't the case because the table was empty when we left. Turns out that she left her whole backpack in the car when she got out of the car at school this morning...she did, however, remember to take her lunchbox. Nice to know where her priorities are.

If only leaving my homework at home could be my biggest problem.

Here come the Kosher Police

LO and I were invited to accompany a very good friend to Parrot Jungle. Since it's pretty expensive to get in there (around $27 each). I jumped at the opportunity to go for free. (Yes, I admit it, I have a little schnorrer in me.) What I didn't understand from the invitation was that before we went to enjoy the Parrot Jungle, we had to attend a luncheon that was a fundraiser for the Archdiocese of Miami.


As many of you know, LO ALWAYS speaks her mind, so before we entered the banquet hall, I pulled her aside and explained that this was a luncheon for the Catholic church and that it was ok for us to be there. The onslaught of questions and comments from her at that point were hilarious..."Mama, we're Jewish", "But these people are scary", "Is this like going to church?", "Will we still be Jewish if we go in?" Just to name a few.

We went in and sat at our table. The lunch plates were already on the table and LO looks at the plate and here is the look she made:


The meal was a mixed green salad with grilled chicken. Next to the grilled chicken were several slices of mozarella CHEESE with tomatoes. I knew she was going to panic and I tried to explain to her that we didn't need to eat anything there. However...before I had the chance, I saw the look on her face which was followed by what I can only describe as a sound similar to an ambulance siren. This of course was followed by her reiterating the Laws of Kashrut to me and then by pointing to everyone's plate on the table to show them how they had meat and dairy ON THE SAME PLATE -- IN THE SAME MEAL! (Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my kid is the "Kosher Police".) I politely put my hand over her mouth and got her to stop squealing. So that the people at our table were able to enjoy their lunch (despite the dirty looks LO was giving them) I tried to distract her for the rest of the meal by playing with her and Winston. It was one of the L O N G E S T lunches of my life.

Shabbat Shalom.

A shidduch for me?

She is persistent if anything and so LO has continued to do what she calls shopping for a husband for me.

Here's her latest attempt with the man she has chosen for my husband:

LO: Are you Jewish?

(Since we met him at shul, she had to know he is Jewish but I am guessing that she was just double-checking to be on the safe side.)

Him: Yes

LO: Do you like Chinese ladies?

Him: Yes - I like them A LOT.

LO: Do you like little Chinese girls?

Him: Yes - I love them and I love to eat them up.

(She looked amused albeit a tad bit scared at this comment.)

LO: Would you like to marry a Chinese lady? You know, like my Mom?

Him: I think so.

Uh-oh. Could this actually be a shidduch for me?

Winston's Conversion

I thought I would update everyone on Winston and his trip to the mikveh. (Don't worry, she didn't throw him into the body of water behind her in the picture.)

When we walked into Shul on Friday night, LO was off and running. She went to talk with our Rabbi and I had no clue what she was talking about but he was nodding his head in agreement and smiling the whole time.

At the oneg, the Rabbi told me about their conversation. She apparently was concerned that Winston was not Jewish and she wanted to arrange for him to go to the mikveh as soon as possible. She also made sure to point out to the Rabbi that although Winston was not Jewish, he was wearing a baseball hat to cover his head so he could attend services. (Oy - this kid!) The Rabbi explained that teddy bears had a special blessing that would make them Jewish and that unlike people, it is not necessary for teddy bears to go to the mikveh. She seemed satisifed with this and seems at ease knowing that her teddy bear is now a member of the Jewish people.

She continued to "make the rounds" at all the tables being what I can only describe as a "cheerleader for Judaism". I shook my head, looked at the Rabbi and motioned toward her and said, "There she is, the future of the Jewish people." The Rabbi replied, "I think we are in good hands."

LO the shadchan?

Last month LO seemed to be searching for a husband of her own. However, it seems that lately she has taken it upon herself to search for a husband for me. Oh yeah, I know you think this sounds cute but really how does it look when your 8-year old is trying to find you a husband? Yep, you're right. It's PATHETHIC. (But then again, I'll take LO's matchmaking over JDate nightmares anyday!)

Her first attempt at playing shadchan was her suggestion that our Rabbi would be a great husband for me. Yep - she aims high - she went straight for the Rabbi. I had to explain that there was just one problem with this suggestion...he's married.

She didn't let her first failed attempt at a shidduch deter her from trying again. She spends much of her time at shul looking around and pointing out men who she thinks would be great husbands for me. She doesn't factor into the equation that most of the men she points out are either (1) married, (2) over the age of 70, or (3) all of the above.

I think she has now given up on trying to gain my approval. At shul the other day she ran up to a very good friend of mine and motioned to him to bend down so she could tell him something. He laughed and had a huge grin on his face.

Want to know what she whispered in his ear?

"Marry my Mom."

Do you think he'll take her advice?

Winston goes to the mikveh

I was waiting to write this post until I could take a picture with LO and Winston. However, I hear that there is someone who is a little unpatient looking for a new post from me. And since I have all of 7 readers, I wouldn't dare lose him. So...here's a "placemark" picture for my post. I'll update the post with LO's picture later.

After all of the adoption paperwork for LO went to China, all I had to do was wait. For anyone with a child, surely you can understand that this waiting is much like being pregnant except for the fact that the whole process takes longer than 9 months. (Oh and another benefit is that I didn't have to gain a million pounds to have her.) Sometimes the wait was unbearable for me (pun intended) and my sister did her best to help me deal with it. One day she brought me to Build-A-Bear Workshop and we built a teddy bear for LO long before we even knew who she was. We named the bear Winston after my grandfather Z"L.

LO has never been all that attached to any of her stuffed animals but recently she has decided that Winston is her favourite bear and that he has to go everywhere with us. On the way to Hebrew school yesterday we had the following conversation:

LO: Mama, is Winston Jewish?

Me: Well, um...I guess he is since you are his mother and you are Jewish.

LO: But he didn't come out of my belly so he can't be Jewish until he goes to the mikveh.

Me: (Trying very hard not to laugh) Um...well I guess you are right. Since he didn't come out of your belly he will need to be converted.

LO: (looking at Winston) Winston, don't worry, you can go to the mikveh and it's not scary and then you can be Jewish just like us! Mama, can we ask the Rabbi when he can take Winston to the mikveh?

Me: Sure we can ask him.

This of course led to this conversation:

LO: Can I bring Winston to Shabbat with us?

Me: As long as he doesn't make too much noise during services you can bring him.

LO: Will he have to wear a kippah?

Me: Well he's a boy so he will have to wear one.

LO: Ok, can we make him one?

Me: Yes - we'll make him one.

LO: How will it stay on?

Me: We'll figure out a way.

LO: Ok, but don't sew it to his head, it might hurt.

Me: I promise, we won't hurt him.

So, I actually did speak to the Rabbi (and no, he didn't think I was meshugganah). He said he would have to look up the blessing for converting her bear but it looks like Winston will be going to the mikveh.

Is this kid Jewish or what? (I'm kvelling.)

Six months in captivity

I know, it's unusual for my blog to be anything but an opportunity for me to kvell about my little girl. She really is a blessing in my life. Come to think of it, my life is pretty good. Just to name a few things, I have my "Little Orieyenta", a wonderful man in my life, and a wonderful shul where I couldn't ask for a better Rabbi. I am so thankful to G-d for these and many other things. At the same time...it's important to keep others in mind as well.

It's been six months...please do not let them be forgotten.

(photo: Israel Ministry of Foreign Affairs)

May we all continue to recite Tehillim and pray for Ehud ben Malka (אהוד בן מלכה), Eldad ben Tova (אלדד בן טובה), and Gilad ben Aviva (גלעד בן אביבה) until they are safe at home.

Shabbat Shalom.

Link to Jack Day

Jack must be:
a) meshugannah
b) running out of blog material
c) bored at work
d) all of the above

(I'm kidding, you know we love you Jack.)

From Jack's Shack...

"Yes, you read the title of this post correctly. I am asking everyone who comes by the blog to join me in celebrating Link To Jack Day.Unlike Festivus there are no feats of strength or airing of grievances. All that I ask is that each one of you link to one of my posts and then leave me a comment letting me know that you did so.And now let the festivities begin. Link Away!"

Pick Five Eat Four

Every year at this time, LO and I head out to the strawberry fields to pick our own strawberries. I always joke that it's a good thing that they don't weigh her before and after since she probably eats 4 out of every 5 that she picks. This year was no different than any of the others and she left with a full belly and strawberry juice all over her face and clothes.

It was a beautiful day here in South Florida and we took full advantage of the weather. To our friends that live in places that look like this:

We send you warmth and an open invitation to come visit the Sunshine State anytime!