Friday, August 22, 2008

Here comes Bridezilla

I am thisclose to becoming Bridezilla with this whole wedding thing. Just when I think the whole wedding planning thing is under control, something comes flying out of nowhere and hits me in the face.

You may remember that we wanted a very small, very simple wedding. We would have been perfectly happy having nothing more than the required minyan to say the Sheva Brachot. And then we seemed to have gotten caught up in sharing our joy with our friends and family and very quickly, our nice little minyan blossomed in THREE minyans. And now with some guilt from assorted family members including this whole issue, we are on the verge of FORTY people.

Yes, I know that 40 people is not a lot for a wedding and I should be happy to be sharing our simcha with everyone...but I am not. This is not what we wanted.

In the end, I am sure everything will work out just wonderfully and the wedding will be beautiful. But I have to admit that now I understand why some people just run away and elope. (I'm just saying!)

Ok - breathe in, breathe out - everything will be fine.

Wishing you all a beautiful and peaceful Shabbat.


Jack said...
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Gila said...

LOVE the photo.

Nu, there is always Vegas!

Another meshugannah mommy said...

Look at it this way....

You are blessed with soooooo many people who love you and want to share in the joy of your simcha. It's not what you wanted, but weddings can be like that. It's okay.

Jewish Deaf Motorcycling Dad said...

Wow, great photo! I'll have to remember that one the next time one of my friends get married. As for the growing wedding party, I sympathize. We kept getting people added to our wedding. At least you (seem to) know these people. We were getting things like my father-in-law's boss's brother, great-aunt-so-and-so that someone just found hiding in the attic for the last 30 years, etc. I felt like saying "Hi, welcome, who the heck are you anyway?" :-)

chiab said...

yes, Jewish Deaf Motorcycling Dad is correct! We had the same deal my daughter's wedding...not wanting to offend anyone related anyone, led to inviting EVERYONE. And then many of the extended demented family members pulled a no-show. So, my advice is be sure to bring PLENTY of ziplock bags, because you know that it's a sin to throw away all that yummy food. (Don't forget to enjoy yourself)

Kol Ra'ash Gadol said...

heh. My mother decided that since she was paying for the wedding, she got to invite all the guests. In order to make sure that my in-laws were able to invite people, my spouse and I had to cut our friends short. We hadn't really wanted a big wedding either, but we got one anyway. Just think of it as good practice for all the other useless things you don't want that you're going to get in celebration of your marriage.....

Kol Ra'ash Gadol said...

by the way, what did you decide about your mother, if it's not too nosy.

torontopearl said...

I have found from hearing stories and from our own experience that when you make a simcha, you make enemies. You CANNOt invite everyone, there are A lists and B lists, but some people don't understand. They feel they are being slighted.

You have to do what's best for you and PhD.

Have your chupah as it was originally planned and then maybe invite people, even on a different day, to share your happiness at a small cocktail party, or an informal dessert party, etc.

I know someone who only had immediate family at his wedding, and I think the family went to a restaurant afterwards. Other friends and family members might not have understood the logic, and of course would've wanted to be there, but remember "It's your party. It's your thing." And truth is, Oriyenta, it's one day in your life. It's your life thereafter with PhD that truly counts.

Good luck, and may it all be with mazel and bracha.

Jewish Deaf Motorcycling Dad said...

Piggybacking on what chiab said about bringing ziplock bags for the leftovers... We ate wedding food for about a week after finally getting home. Plenty of left overs. Which was funny in a way, because except for a few bites of challah, a few glasses of water, and a small piece of cake, we didn't eat a darn thing at our wedding. Too busy being hauled off by our photographer to eat. Look at it this way, it was a meat meal that was served, but after the wedding, my bride and I were able to go out for pizza. :-)

orieyenta said...

Jack - Today it does ;)

Gila - Believe me, I have thought about it.

AMM - Yes - you are so right. I keep trying to keep this in mind.

JDMD - That is exactly what we were trying to avoid!

Chiab - Mmmm - leftovers! (After fasting I am sure I'll be HUNGRY!) Are you coming over? :)

KRG - Just think of it as good practice for all the other useless things you don't want that you're going to get in celebration of your marriage.

I LOVE that! And as of today Mom is still not coming - I may budge though...we'll see.

JDMD - I have a feeling we won't have much chance to eat either. Luckily my future mother-in-law is always armed with a purse full of plastic bags!