Monday, October 01, 2007

The Birds and the Bees

Remember earlier this month when I had one of those unexpected parenting moments? Well, this must be the time for those moments because yet again, LO managed to catch me off guard.

Apparently one of the little girls in her class has already begun experiencing that time of the month. It started while she was at school and her mother had obviously talked with her about it because she felt the need to explain it to all the other little girls in the class. She gave some gory details to LO which were not totally accurate and managed to totally gross LO out. Another little girl in the class decided to chime in with this wise information..."When you get the period and you are older, if you hang out too much with boys it means you are pregnant." Talk about needing to do some damage control.

I was so totally NOT READY for this conversation. We're talking about a child who makes me giggle when she tells me, "When I grow up I'm going to go to China and get a baby just like you got me." She used to think that China is where all babies come from and that's where everyone goes to get a baby (I guess it never dawned on her that not all children are Chinese). Then she met someone who was visibly pregnant. I explained that there was a baby inside the woman and then LO was afraid of the woman because she couldn't understand why the lady ate a baby!

Oy, can't I just continue being content with just making sure that she knows she cannot ever date or marry someone who is not Jewish. Isn't that enough? There should be some parenting book that tells you when you need to do this stuff and how to do it. I am still not sure if what and how I explained this all to her was the right way to do it. I guess I did the best I could do...but now I am sort of guarded...what the heck will she come up with next?

On another's raining AGAIN. A lot of the roads are flooded. A lot of the traffic lights aren't working. Next time for Sukkot we might take Jack's advice and build an ark. Actually at this rate, we may need that ark sooner than next Sukkot.


Jewish Deaf Motorcycling Dad said...

My 4 year old is already asking how the baby gets inside the mother. I wonder if my parents still have the book they got me "Where did I come from?" Can't I keep them small and innocent for a while longer?? Good luck with your conversation!

Carol said...

Just give it to her straight. Tell her everything. She'll be grossed out for awhile of course, but she'll thank you for it when she's older. You don't want your kid growing into the girl who believes rumors like "you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex" or "you can get HIV by holding hands with an infected person".

PsychoToddler said...

Good luck with that.

Kol Ra'ash Gadol said...

Wait, a girl in her class got her *period* I thought LO was like, 8 or 9 - am I totally off base here?

orieyenta said...

JDMD - Bet that was an interesting conversation. I'm with you, can't we keep them small and innocent for a little while longer? A decade would do for me :)

Carol - Yeah, I am all with wanting her to be educated rather than to learn from false rumours.

PT - What?? No words of advice? Haven't you already gone through this with at least one daughter??

KRG - You are not off base. LO just turned 9. Apparently children are maturing earlier than they used to. Scary.

The Babka Nosher said...

BabkaEtte and LO can't be friends right now. I'm not ready for my almost 8 year old to learn this. One of her closest friends is a grade ahead of her, but turning 10 in January. She is WAY ahead of Ette on the learning curve of these things. Scares the crap out of me!

Jessica said...

Points to LO for thinking the lady ate a baby. That's one way to mentally reason through visibly pregnant!

And, yeah, the truth really is the best way to go. I just can't believe a little girl in her class is menstruating.

Good luck!

Jack's Shack said...

My daughter has decided that any woman that has a bulge must be pregnant.

The best part is watching her ask them if she can feel the baby kick. Oy.

Hila said...

This is certainly not an easy situation, but I have to agree with Carol on this one. My parents never had "the talk" with me and so I ended up learning "the basics" in 4th grade health where they sort of explained what a menstrual cycle was and that it meant you could get pregnant, but by no means did it make me prepared for the real deal. I wish my mother had been comfortable enough to talk with me about it, but she just assumed that I would learn all of the specifics at school.

Obviously, I've since learned much more, but I definitely spent a few years in the dark about a LOT of things.

And yeah, kids are maturing much earlier these days. From what I've read, this is especially true in inner cities and urban/metropolitan areas with high pollution. Something about the air/chemicals triggers hormone production prematurely. Anyhoo, it's scary to know that 3rd graders are now "adults" in that sense of the word.

Good luck to you. If I can be of any help, let me know.

Another meshugannah mommy said...

Oy. People have been warning me about early-onset puberty with my daughter since she was born! I don't know to whom I should listen. I try to buy only hormone-free milk, and we eat organic veggies, but who knows? She really got her period at 9? That would be enough to give me a migrane!

Kol Ra'ash Gadol said...

WOw. I didn't get my first until I was 14 - the same age my mother and grandmother got theirs. It's scary to think that kids are getting theirs when they're well, teeny kids.

myrtle star said...

that is way too young to start menstruating. Just be honest and straightforward. My mom never shared anything like that with me and when I started at 13 I thought I was dying.

Oy, thats so young. Thats a hard talk to have.